This check list document will give some guidance in this area, of death which I will endeavour to
share with you all so that we and all our loved ones are all granted a good death.
Dealing with the arrangements following the death of a family member or friend can be very
confusing and stressful. The following guide aims to ease the burden and hopefully help you in
this challenging and difficult time.
It is based on my own experiences after dealing with the sudden death of my father in 2001, 24
years ago, and my mother in 2025, 1 year ago, and attending and assisting at many other
funerals.
I remember saying to myself when I first learned about their deaths that this must be
impossible, and surely, we could plan on 20 more years with my amazing father and mother.
This topic is a difficult one to tackle as it is deeply personal for me, and it brings back many
difficult and painful emtions, but I feel it needs to be shared. It may bring uncomfortable
feelings for you, the reader.
Please bear in mind that I am not a religious scholar, legal expert or a counsellor, and so cannot
provide detailed advice on these matters.
Death is inevitable and decreed for every human. We are merely passing through stages.
Some of us do not get a warning and then leave for the next world abruptly.
Some others are given time to realise that their final days are near.
We don’t get to choose when we will die, how long we get to live until we have to exit, nor the
circumstances under which we will exit.
Despite this, speaking about death and our impending demise is a conversation we rarely have,
and it is not something discussed at many of our dinner tables.
It is something we try to avoid.
We struggle with our own and loved one’s mortality.
Rarely a day passes before we read the words “إنا لله و إنا اليه راجعون”,
We then acknowledge the fact of life that we too are to follow and return to our Lord.
Many of us are unaware of how to help our loved ones when it is their time to depart.
Most of us are unaware of how to best support a dying person, or how to face the death of a
loved one.
It is an uncomfortable skill set that most of us have yet to acquire or learn about.
Within our lifetime people beloved to us such as our mother, father, grandparents, children,
spouses, siblings and friends will depart from this world.
There is no greater gift or act of love you can give them than aiding them and being a rock for
them at the end of their lives.
It is vital that someone is there to remove that burden from your loved ones in their last
moments.
It is also important to remember that you should not expect the person or those around them to
know what to do, as in times of difficulty people very easily have a mind block.
I pray that Allah has mercy on all our deceased, forgive them of all their shortcomings, pardon
them and that He reunites us all with our loved ones in al-Firdaws. May Allah grant us all a good
life and an easy death.
Please also remember me in your duas.
Ameen. ZS.