How one reacts to the loss of a loved one differs depending on many factors including how one is raised, what emotional support one has, and the nature of one’s relationship with them when they were living.
You have no time to prepare for the loss and no opportunity to say goodbye.
Both your day-to-day life and your vision of your future are abruptly altered.
The loss comes as a huge shock.
Your sense of security and order may be shattered.
If the death was due to an accident or act of violence, you may feel unsafe.
If the person who died was young, you may feel that the natural order of the world has been upset.
A hole may be left in your life if the person who died was someone you cared deeply about or depended on—a partner, parent, child, or sibling.
- You can feel that your life has lost purpose and meaning.
- You will miss the routines of regular phone calls, visits, and buying gifts.
- Unexpected emotions can overlap, creating a sense of powerlessness and confusion.
- Shock—The shock on learning of the loss can cause physical reactions, such as shaking or difficulty breathing.
- It might cause you to go quiet, scream, or moan.
- You may behave in ways that feel frightening.
- Numb –emotionally detached.
- Disbelief—You may have a hard time accepting that the person is gone and may speak of them as though they were still alive. You may wake up in the morning expecting them to be with you. This can leave you feeling bewildered, confused, upset.
- Difficulty performing even simple tasks—Your feelings of shock and sadness can make it difficult to carry on a conversation, prepare a meal, get dressed, or keep your home clean.
- “If only…” thoughts after a sudden loss to ruminate on how the death might have been averted. This can trigger feelings of guilt or anger.
- Anger – with the loved one for “leaving you”, anger with anyone or anything that has disappointed you in relation to the loss of your loved one– even angry with Allah (SWT).
- Guilt/blame – about things you wished you had done in relation to your family member when he/she was living, or guilty about not preventing the death, or that it was your fault. You may feel that you did not do enough, should you have been there more, you were a bad person.
- Severe depression- intense sorrow, and significant impairment in daily life that doesn’t improve over time.
- Strange Relief – that your loved one no longer has to suffer the illness.
- Obsession – by continually thinking about your loved one, things they did and things you did together.
- Fear – that you will forget them when the bereavement process is coming to an end because you no longer grieve as you used to do, which in turn can lead to a feelings of more guilt.
- Depression- painful emotions are so long lasting and severe that you have trouble recovering from the loss and resuming your own life.
- Tense.
- Defensive.
- Not wanting to talk about the loss.
- Intense and long-lasting grief.
https://www.bereavementadvice.org/topics/what-to-do-when-someone-dies/step-by-step-checklist/